The Challenges and Rewards of Dating in a Foreign Language
As digital nomads roam the world, they often find themselves in a familiar community of fellow travelers. However, when it comes to dating locals, things can become more challenging, especially if there is a language barrier. This is the experience of many queer nomads, including myself.
Stepping out of the Nomad Circle
While traveling, I noticed that many straight nomads were able to meet others and find love while on the road. Unfortunately, the experience was different for me and other queer nomads as there were fewer opportunities to connect with potential partners. To increase my chances, I realized that I would have to venture beyond my nomad circle and meet locals.
The Language Barrier
In a city like Florianópolis, Brazil, where I found myself during my early travels, I discovered that there were very few queer locals who spoke English. If I wanted to date and connect, I knew I had to learn Portuguese.
With my newfound love for languages, I eagerly signed up for Portuguese classes with a local tutor. Learning a new language not only allowed me to communicate with others but also provided me with a window into the local culture. I could discover new music, traditions, and reshape my way of thinking.
The First Date in Portuguese
After a couple of months of learning Portuguese, I felt confident enough to go on my first date in the language. However, as the date progressed, I quickly realized that my language skills were not quite at the level I had hoped. It became frustrating as I struggled to express myself and fully understand my date’s thoughts and feelings. The night ended without any connection, and we went our separate ways.
Understanding the Cultural Differences
Continuing my language learning journey, I began to understand that the language barrier was not the only factor contributing to my dating difficulties. I learned that the dating culture in Brazil is more casual compared to what I was accustomed to in New York. It was less about finding a lifelong partner and more about embracing adventure and enjoying the experience.
By shifting my perspective, I realized that I had been taking dating too seriously. Instead, I started embracing the opportunity to have fun, explore new connections, and let go of expectations. It was refreshing to know that if things didn’t work out, there were no hard feelings.
Leveling Up in Dating
As I improved my Portuguese, I experienced more success in the world of dating. With better communication skills, I could express myself more confidently and efficiently. While there were still moments of embarrassment and language mishaps, I saw them as part of the learning process. Each stumble was an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.
Dating in a foreign language taught me not only about the language itself but also about resilience, humility, and embracing new experiences. It was a valuable lesson in forgiving myself for failures and finding joy in the journey.
Source: I learned Portuguese to date in Brazil. It taught me to take dating — and myself —less seriously.
